Evil Dr. Smith : Introduction:
Steve: Hello, my name's Steve. (Plays a few bass notes.) I play bass guitar for Adam West. My favourite colour's blue, and my favourite kind of music is heavy metal music.
Jake: Hello. My name is Jake Starr. (Plays a few guitar notes.) I play the rhythm guitar in Adam West. My favourite food is curry, because it's open late at night.
Dan-o: My name is Dan-o Deckelman! (Outrageous guitar solo.) I let my guitar speak for me!
Steve: That's because you're incoherent most of the time.
Jake: Hello. My name is Ben Brower. (Hits a few drums.) I am... the drummer... in Adam West.
Do I have to do this just 'cause he didn't turn up?
Steve: Yes, just say that you can't play the drums and you're a complete toss-face.
Jake: I can't play the drums and I'm a complete toss-face. I don't... I think we should get
Ben to do this one himself. I think this is fucking stupid!
Steve: Yes, but he never turns up, does he? Now, start once again. Do you know what you're
going to say? Hello, I'm Ben Brower...
Jake: Hello, my name is Ben Brower, I am the drummer from...
Steve: I am the CRAP drummer.
Jake: I am the CRAP drummer from Adam West...
Jake: Oh, hello Ben!
Ben: My name is Jake Starr and I think it's a load of bollocks!
Steve: My name is Ben Brower. (Does an impression of Ben's laugh.)
Ben: That's very good! (Laughs.)
Dan-o: My name is Steve Grigson. Hoity-toity fucking hoit.
Steve: My bloody fucking name is Dan-o bloody fucking Deckelman bloody fucking...
Dan-o: Bloody fuck off then, Deckelman, fuck off.
Steve: ...and I'm the bloody fucking spunk all over your face guitarist. Spunk, bloody,
Jake: (sings) ARE YOU REEEEAAAAAAAAADY?
Steve: Yes we are.
Dan-o: Yes, we've been ready a long time.
Jake: (sings) What are you ready for?
Dan-o: We're ready for playing "Adam West".
Steve: We're ready for you to count us in.
Jake: (sings) Are you ready to rock?
Steve: Yes, yes.
Dan-o: Yes, we're ready to rock.
Jake: (sings) Are you ready to roll?
Dan-o: Yes, and we're ready to roll as well.
Steve: Yes, we ARE ready to roll!
All: ADAM WEST! ADAM WEST! ADAM WEST!
Jake: For you and you and you and you and you!!!
(In great honour to Colin, Den, Vim en Spider: God's real gift to women)