Hi, gentlemen and lady (if I am not mistaken). How are you doing? PLease introduce yourselves to our dear readers.
We are Priscilla, Mandy, Shanene and l'aDasha. We are four spontaneous handsome men, we love to travel, cook, do fun things, make phone calls, send text messages, go out and have a good time, act all weird, we are who we are.
Why do you use pseudonyms?
The spiritual philosophy behind this targets the inner stomachness which makes our eyes glimmer like leaves in the wind of our identity which is very important to us and obliges the country. In other words, the inner bestial power overshadows the darkness which can make our true identity wither. We are henceforth of the opinion that pseudonyms are essential for the guarantee of our integrity and sovereignty. We are extremely pretentious about this.
First off I want to go back in time, to the 'Conform' album from 2010. On that album I couldn't find any bass. Has 33 years of exposure to metal made me bass deaf, or is it true that no bass is to be discerned on that album? What was the reason for leaving out bass? Death metal without bass is not something you come across too often, or to be more specific. Never come across at all.
Well, this was the case; Priscilla/VRSCHRK, better known as the smutty cat had stolen 45 euro from the band kitty after he had recorded his bass parts. The rest of the band then decided to erase the bass parts from the recording, and under the pressure of time implemented by the Primal Order management it was then decided to release the album bass less. Now, everything is well again between Priscilla and the rest of the band, thanks to the intermediatory role of Priscilla's guardian/personal assistant. Currently Priscilla is clean and he wants the world to know everything is going well with him.
Fast forward about one and a half years to your most recent product, called 'Genocide Meteorite Dynamite Alright'. The glitches I pointed out concerning your previous release have been taken care of. A bass can now be heard. What happened in the mean time? By the looks of it the line-up has also changed quite a bit. What's the reason for that make-over?
It just didn't work out any more. The feeling was gone. People came, people went, there were too many captains on the ship, only taking never giving, it was time for change. Barry (keyboard player and percussionist and ex-vocalist) did too much drugs and had to leave the band. Unholy Cosmos never wrote any lyrics and never paid his band taxes. There was also a band meeting which totally escalated, because Bella the gothic in Korsakoff had kissed with Mike even though she had something going with Brandon. This was of importance because Tiffany's (ex-bandguru and spiritual guide) best friend was being treated for worms and so couldn't diffuse the situation between Brandon and Mike. For that reason they were all kicked out. Now there's just the four of us and we're stronger than ever.
Your debut was totally death metal, but on the newest one I hear a lot of punk influences in your sound, which makes me think of The Rotted. Why that shift in sound?
We are quite pretentious about this. Old school death metal will never return to what it was. The fans aren't there anymore and so it doesn't sell. You have to face the facts if you want to survive in the cold world of the professional underground metal industry. These new found punk influences give us the freedom to see right through the eyes of the consumer and feel what he/she/it feels without interfering with the regular workings of the market en thereby disrupting its cadence.
The most remarkable aspect, except for the shift in musical style, is the fact that 'Genocide Meteorite Dynamite Alright' has been released on cassette only. Why did you choose for this and not for the ever increasingly more popular vinyl or just as cd-r?
We have thought about this long and hard and we don't want to imply that CD, mp3 or other digital media are inferior, but extensive research has pointed out that cassette/analogue recordings/releases are superior on every imaginable front.
Just like your debut the release has been self-released. Are you looking for a label or do you want full and total control over everything yourselves?
We are on the look-out for a major label, preferably Sony, Universal, EMI, Nuclear Blast, or even Earache or Dark Lust Productions. We're also always on the look-out for further reinforcements of the Primal Order Management team. Interested parties should send a mail to email@example.com. In other words, we can use all the help we can get.
What is the state of affairs when it comes to performing live within the country for a band such as yours? And has there been any interest for gigs abroad already?
Quatrains cannot describe the galloping of the sulphurous hoof. Marrow, reel, black pebbles, lead, dry barley, rusty rakes, dirty splinters, ass, moustache belly, split hair ends, ointment, dry wells, pancreas, black metal and a good glass of horse's glow with an old friend would come closest to the reactions we've had from fans to our gig. Concerning playing abroad, Primal Order's network is already knocking at the sickly gates of many a third world country. The caravan is being made ready. The noble camels are being massaged by our hermaphrodite-harem squad group B, a.k.a. “Barry and Unholy Cosmos” and thereby being prepared for the noble task of carrying our drugs. So, book as soon as possible.
If you ever had a chance to go on tour with a big band who would you most want to go on tour with?
Any band in the world, except Nuclear Devastation.
How have both your albums been received up to now?
When it comes to this answer we advise the readers to take up a foetal position and read while playing 'Erbarme Dich' from the Mathaeus Passion by Johann Sebastian Bach. This will help to further get to the core of our message, mutual understanding, a bond between soul and emotion, strength, dark passion and metamorphosis which is essential for you all. And it was so, that 'Conform' was released and the sweetbread growled longing for their offspring. They spoke: Dominus Ergo Feles, Dominus Ergo Canis Excelsii Majorem, and the city walls crumbled as if waylaid by stone worms. In other words, You, valued interviewer, are most probably the only person to have ever listened to the entire CD in its tragic splendour. We, for one, have not. Well, 'Genocide Meteorite Dynamite Alright' is an entirely different story. The tapes are flying like warm fuzzy feelings from an onerous heart. Many a metal punk celebrity has told us that we are the best. The most important thing now is that we let it not get to our heads PERIOD We are the best.
And? Are you already working on a follow-up for 'Genocide Meteorite Dynamite Alright?
Despite the enormous quarrels and disagreements between Nuclear Devastation and Primal Order we are working on a split with that band. As to what the quarrels and disagreements entail we will not tell until they have been solved. But we can say is that they have paid enough for the four guitars they bought off us. In addition to this extremely wanted and brilliant split EP, which will be called 'Kings Of The Animals' an ambitious magnum opus full-length is planned which will be titled 'Rockstar 666'. That one should be available by the end of November. The new material will be stronger than ever.
Well, that wraps it up for me. Is there anything you'd like to add?
The 'Genocide Meteorite Dynamite Alright' tape is almost sold out, so be quick and don't miss out. Ever since the Middle Ages the House Of Orange has been in direct contact with God and only behind them you have the normal people. Hooray! Hooray! Long live the monarchy. All politicians are liars, we know the truth, we are Illuminati, we are Bilderberg Group, we are Prince Bernhard, we are Prince Friso, we are Pazuzu's breath, we pound on our heels, we turn the node of the oak, will always firmly hold on to the breasts of truth, will never give in to the flattery of Barry, Mephistopheles appears at the stove, he spoke, we listened and applauded. We hail our fans worldwide!! Listen to us!! We give what you want. Humanity is under a lot of pressure, we are the morphine. Buy us, listen to us, love us, be us, book us, talk to us, tell us how you're doing, tell us your deepest desires, your darkest of secrets, compliment us, stroke your cat more often, move your boundaries. And first and foremost, always remember, that wherever you are, whatever you're doing, how well or badly you're doing, whatever anyone says, that We, Primal Order, love you all, you and you and you and you. Live that dream!